So I hadf a specialist appointment this morning with a plastic surgeon and, as far as he can tell, I do not have Lipedema.
I honestly don’t know how I feel about this. I spent the better part of my childhood and adult life hating my lower body. Yes, their size did fluctuate with weight loss and gain, but I have always been wildly aware that my calves/ankles are bigger than most people’s. I can’t wear knee-high boots and lots of ankle boots don’t fit and even have to be careful about skinny jeans.
Despite knowing that even if I had a positive diagnosis of lipedema there was nothing the military would do to fix it as most plastic surgeons consider it purely cosmetic. Having a positive diagnosis was something that I could use to help heal my past self – my inner child.
So how do I heal my inner child now?
With the acceptance that this is simply how I’m built. This is my natural physiology. It’s genetics. And, once again, there’s nothing I can do to change that.
Yes, I can exercise, watch what I eat, and lose weight – or at least maintain my weight – which will help, but this is simply my body.
To my younger self: I’m sorry if I made you feel that something was wrong with you. That my body was wrong. I’m sorry I listened to unrealistic media, trying to shrink you into an appearance that would never be good enough. I will continue to work on loving and appreciating everything that you were, everything you are, and your potential in the future. I love you.