Trepidation of the next 6 Weeks

As I type this, I should have been  clearing into accommodations in Halifax but as it stands, we just took off from Toronto. I’m regretting not taking the direct flight, but c’est la vie.

Other than the hiccup of the delay, travel has gone pretty smoothe so far. Though having been wering my mask for the past…6 hours or so, holy cow, mad respect for all the front line workers who have to wear their masks their entire work shift, day in and day out. Dealing with anxiety – coupled with the delay and lack of actual food, things have been challenging.

I do have some trepidation for the next 6 weeks. When I finished basic training, I was so happy that I had made it through. I have never hidden the challenges I had early in my career and basic almost broke me… actually, screw almost! It DID break me! But I was so happy to have made it through!

Then I found out about PLQ (Primary Leadership Qualification) and I was almost distraught at the prospect of having to do it AGAIN! I really had no desire to do it – but it’s required, so I knew I would have to suck it up.

I have known since last year that this was coming. It’s absolutely required to maintain my current rank – and considering m supervisor is putting me up for immediate promotion – which could happen as early as January – I absolutely do require it! FML!

However, when I realized that my name was being put forward for the Navy PLQ in Halifax, that trepidation was now mixed with excitement. I’ve never been to Halifax and have heard nothing but good things about it… but will we be allowed off the “base”, it’s hard to say.

But first, I need to get there!

M friend finished her PLQ about a month ago now – she said I’ll really enjoy it. She had been promoted about a week or so before me and I had joked that it would be awesome if we were on the same PLQ. No luck there, but having her go through it befor me gave me a wonderful resource into what to expect. Hopefully I have the same staff as she had!

Fingers crossed!

Here’s to a hopefully quick flight!

One Week Home

Yup, I started this post 7 weeks ago with intentions ofblogging during the course.Obviously that didn’t happen. Partially due to lack of time and lack of mental capacity.

Honestly? I hated it. Okay, okay – hate is a strong word, but I really didn’t enjoy my time there. REALLY didn’t enjoy myself. In Mod 2, I spent several nights up until midnight and later working on assignments. I did “alright” during the classes – I had a couple failures, but most everyone did. Even the person who got top candidate and top student had at least 1 failure.

Mod 3 was the field portion and it sucked. I hated it. I found that someone I considered a friend was two-faced and was like Jekyll and Hyde; when her “best bud” wasn’t around, she was so nice to me – but when he was around, I was non-existent. Eventually I stopped trying to hang out with her/them. Why bother?

Everything about the field sucked. I ended up in the hospital on day 4 – but thankfully managed to pass (barely). They were LONG physical days – those with smart watched were recording between 25000-30000 steps a day. Thank gawd my boots were good and other than losing a toe nail, I didn’t even have blisters until maybe the last day (full 7 days in the field). Some days, runs were being done from 0700 to midnight – each run was 3 hours, then a 30 min “break” – and after the runs we had to clean the rifles for morning inspection at 0600.

And I returned broken – thankfully the nerve damage in my right hand has cleared up and the swelling has subsided. Unfortunately the nerve damage is still affecting me on my left thigh. Some days it seems to be getting better, but other days are bad.

At Mod 1, we had 29 people. When we graduated, we only had 20 people. We lost 9 people – 2 were only doing Mod 2, but 1 was medically removed, 2 quit VERY early one, 1 was kicked out for cheating, and 2 were kicked out while in the field for conduct…. we lost so many people I can’t even remember why we lost everyone! For the ones that quit, I completel understand; it sucked right from the start!

I’m still trying to figure out the lesson with the course. NONE of it seems relevant to me or my job. It was very Navy-centric and Halifax specific. Yes, I’m Navy, but have never been on ship and I’m not in Halifax. All I can see is a huge waste of time and money.

However, I did enjoy Halifax itself. My first weekend I walked downtown and enjoyed the water front. I wasn’t able to rent a car but did go on a tour to Peggy’s Cove and Lunenburg which were my bucket list places to go to while in Halifax… but there’s so much more to see!

I’m just SO glad I don’t have any more of that type of training to do! All other courses will be trade specific (RQ Sgt is next) and I may make it to the next rank and require ILP (Intermediate Leadership…. Principles? I think) 

I’m sure eventually I’ll look back and actually have some fond memories, but right now, not so much. The pain is still too fresh.

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