What you Don’t Know

It’s easy to look at someone’s IG page and amazing photos and wish you had their life; their body, their home, their family, their community involvement, their pets….

But you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes.

You don’t know how they got their body. Maybe it’s genetics but maybe it’s the hours they put in the gym. Or systematically starving themselves. Maybe they’ve been sick or dealing with grief. Maybe that body you envy so much was born from a drug addiction. Maybe it’s photoshopped or maybe it’s posing.

Look at these two pics. Same me but I know how to pose to accentuate my curves. The “unposed” photo I deliberately did everything that would “add weight”. Both I weigh about 215 lbs – don’t exactly know how much as I haven’t weighed myself in about 10 days but still, over 200 lbs. Looking at the two photos, I’d say there’s a 20-30 lb difference.

I, personally, don’t have time to photoshop my body to something “Instagram worthy” but I know plenty of people do. However, I still take a LOT of photos to try to get “the one”.

About half of the pics I actually took that morning.

So when you see a body you admire, take it as a grain of salt. It’s hard to know what to believe nowadays! Some women that I followed (notice past tense?) had incredible bodies! Then as I started to see more, I realized they used waist trainers and/or corsets. Using a device like that gives an unnatural shape yet so many people believe they can achieve it just by “losing weight”. Guess what? YOU CAN’T!!!


I recently read a story about an IG “influencer” who was known for the connection she had with her dog, how well behaved and well trained her dog was – I guess the dog played a huge part as to why she had so many followers. She was doing a live video and she thought she had ended the video but she hadn’t and countless followers witnessed her hitting her dog and she’s now being investigated for animal abuse.


That home you love so much, what you don’t realize is that they’re about to foreclose on their mortgage. Or it’s a rented studio. Or it’s an Air B&B. Or a friends home.


That relationship that you think is so amazing, what you don’t realize is that the marriage is on the rocks. Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, gas lighting…. you simply don’t know!!! HELL! Rachel Hollis announced the other day that her and her husband – after 18 years and 4 children – are getting divorced! It’s amicable and they’re going to remain friends, co-parenting, and business partners, but it just goes to show that behind smiles, there may be unhappiness!!!

Community involvement…

I recently heard of a story of someone posted photos on IG of them “helping businesses in downtown LA (or Seattle, or Vancouver, or Toronto, I can’t remember) board up their window fronts” due to possible violence/looting because of BLM protests. Yeah, she literally went up to a business owner to help, took the tools, snapped a few pics of her “helping”, then handed the tools back and left!

Yup. Stellar influencer right there!!!

So, what do you want to do? Admire fake lives? Or live one true to you?

I firmly believe that the only way to live is open and transparent. I never want to be someone that is different in real life than what I depict on social media. I am somewhat socially awkward and can be somewhere between overly chatty and shy – a lot will depend on conversation and setting. I might come across as silly in some of my photos, but a lot will depend on the photographer and situation.

Be true to you. In a world of so many fakes, it needs more authenticity.

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