I know that I talk about body image a lot on here because I, like most people – especially women – struggle the most with that. But I also talk a lot about being happy – that unending search for living a joyful life. We search and search for it, determined that being happy is at the end of some elusive rainbow – that promotion, or buying that house in that great neighborhood, or getting a new vehicle.
Have you noticed that thing about rainbows? They always seem to move and they are never caught. Ever. So why do we keep chasing this idea that happiness is found externally of where we are? Because we have been trained that happiness is a thing. Media shows us “the good life” where people are living in homes that are enormous, the newest toys, the most up to date fashion, hair that you can only achieve straight out of the salon, perfect bodies, and exciting jobs.
This is bullshit. This is a lie that has been fed to us for, possibly, decades. This is what keeps people in a state of constantly chasing something that isn’t attainable. It simply doesn’t exist. It keeps those of us living a simple life believing that our life sucks because we don’t own a house, or we can’t afford the newest iPhone, or our vacations are within 600km of our home and not half way around the world.
What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with living a modest life? What’s wrong with an unfulfilling job if it allows you to do something worthwhile during your off times? What’s wrong with taking a vacation close to home that creates beautiful memories with those you love?
NOTHING! There is absolutely nothing wrong with this life!
“Collect memories, not things”
If I could go back to my 20 year old self, I wish I could tell her to focus on the inside; focus on having a beautiful soul. Focus on your marriage. Save more and take more vacations – even if they’re just close to home. Don’t listen to people who don’t care about you as a person only how much they can get from you. Love yourself unconditionally and focus on your health, not the shape of your body… because a beautiful body means shit if you’re unhealthy on the inside – whether emotionally or physiologically.
Happiness can NOT be found externally, but comes from within.
But we’re not taught that! We’re taught to hustle. To constantly work and work and work – for someone else – and we get shit from it except a shitty self image, anxiety, and a myriad of health issues and symptoms that can’t be pin-pointed.
Stop! Just stop the insanity!
Could you imagine how much your SELF would change if your redirected that energy of chasing a life that doesn’t exist and hustled to find your authentic self? Change that outward search inward and you will be able to move mountains!
If you’re not happy with what you currently have – whether it’s your physical shape, your job, home, car, etc… you will never ever be happy when you do get that bigger home, or new car, or new job, or flat stomach because it’s now what you have and you’re never happy with what you have!
I’ve competed in Figure and I still hated my body. I had amazing abs, lean legs and arms (I was in single digit body fat percentage) but I only see that now; at the time, all I could see was everything that was wrong with my body. I am now happy with my body – cellulite, stretch marks, and the extra 50+ lbs I’m carrying! I have made peace with her, stopped fighting her, and listening to her on a soulful level and NOW I can start moving forward and start focusing on my physical health.
Stop looking at what you don’t have and start looking at what you do. Yeah, sure, I’d love to lose 50 lbs, but my current body is pretty amazing! It’s strong and resilient and has gotten me through some pretty shitty things! We always talk about buying a new Jeep or a full sized pickup truck, but our new Mazda3 we got in 2017 is amazing on gas and has driven us 4800km to our new home and allows us to visit our BFF who’s 5 hours away. I’d love a new laptop but this one allows me to do anything I really need to and is easy to use! I look around the living room and we have a big screen flat, smart TV, a dehumidifier, 4 binders of probably over 500 movies and a couple shelves of TV series box-sets, Blue-ray DVD player, surround sound stereo system, X-Box 360… and that’s just the “stuff” and doesn’t even include our furniture! We’re pretty damn lucky to all have this!
So WHY would I want more?
Well… I don’t! I’d rather spend effort in decorating my mind than adding more “stuff” to clutter the external. Learning and improving my Self is WAY more important than the external world. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in the fridge, means of transportation – which is more often public transit than the car! But, most importantly, I have a loving home.
Just the fact that I am deliriously in love with my husband, we never argue because we have great communication. I feel safe, valued, and loved – and this, I know, makes me blessed because I’ve watched friends who don’t.
Stop looking at everything you don’t have and be grateful for what you do have. Remember, like attracts like. If you have gratitude for what you have, you will be given things to be grateful for. On the other side, if you’re unhappy with your life, you’ll find more things to be unhappy with.
Change your perspective, change your life!