I’ve started reading (aka, listening to) another book, “The Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday as suggested by my husband. I love how (my husband) is taking an active interest in reading books that aren’t sci-fi or fantasy, which has been his usual go-to over the decades. I think he realized that reading sci-fi all the time isn’t going to improve his self, his confidence, or his thought process. He’s reading books that help him move in a direction that may help change his reality and not just escape it.
The one thing this book touches on, and what, really, it’s all based on, is looking at obstacles as lessons; and if you’re finding yourself in the same situation over and over again, it’s because you haven’t learned the lesson it’s trying to teach you. This concept is not new to me – but it’s put in a way that’s not “moon-beamy” (as my BFF’s husband calls it – and now my hubby!) – the more I get into Reiki and spiritualism, the more I hear this. And even my BFF, when I complain to her about something, she often asks me, “What is the universe trying to tell you?”. Earlier on, this used to frustrate me – I just wanted a good old fashion bitching session… but is it serving me? Is complaining about what someone said or did constructive or destructive? Definitely destructive because you will get what you give – and if I’m giving negativity, then all I’ll get is negativity, no matter the motive behind the bitching!
Our life is full of choices – from as simple as what you’re going to wear today, to whether you should apply for a job or move. You don’t know what the outcome will be to anything. If you take that new job, you may love it or hate it. Thinking about moving to a new city? Have you ever been there? Do you have work lined up?
Nothing ever happens as we expect it to and there’s one of two ways to deal with it – kick and scream, pissed off at the world that it didn’t happen how you wanted… or, shrug it off and learn your lesson, and carry on. Now, I’m not saying to roll over and take it laying down, but if things didn’t go your way, what can you take away from it? What went wrong? Can you improve your method or angle? Does your pitch need improvement (if it’s relative)? Did someone beat you to it? Can you ask for feedback? Just because you didn’t get something doesn’t mean you’ll never get it – you may just have to work harder. But if you never learn from those shitty things that happen, you will continue exactly how you are, and the next time the same situation arises and you approach it exactly the same way, do you really expect the outcome to be anything but the same shitty outcome?
Failure is just showing you what ways don’t work – change your methods and eventually you will succeed! You may not succeed the second or even the third time, but each time you fail, you have an opportunity to learn something from it.
It’s all a matter of perspective.